Did reading the title make you slightly nauseous? Did it make you want to run and hide with a blanket over your head, wishing that word was not so vital in this thing called adulting? I GET IT!!! It still makes me shiver in my boots when I hear it, but as I continue to create and set them the less scary it gets! I promise you.
I'm sure at this point you are thinking there has to be a way that I can live my best life, heal and move on and skirt boundaries. Especially if you have lived through any form of Trauma, and abuse. While actively in an abuse relationship setting boundaries 100 percent of the time end in them being crossed. Which can lead to you feeling like setting boundaries is pointless. In unhealthy relationships including familial setting boundaries could result in losing people that you love when you are not present in the way that they feel that you should be present. All of this true and at the same time boundaries is one of the most freeing things you will ever do for yourself on your journey of self-love. Boundaries is acknowledging your worth and telling people how you are able to show up for them, and how you wish for them to show up for you. It is the most loving thing that you could ever do for yourself.
On your healing journey setting boundaries allows you to know where you end, and someone else begins. It allows you to call back your energy to you so that you can stand in your absolute power. Setting boundaries is saying this is how I want you to treat me, this is what I will accept. Setting boundaries allows you to know when they have been overstepped and allows you to take the measures to make sure they are adhered to. So sis what I am saying is the boundaries you set are your guidebook to how you want be treated. So write that book, spell it out how ever that is, publish it and make sure your spine is bound tight I promise you , you will thank me! So lets start today and write down the things that are ok and things that are not ok to you. That is where you begin with setting boundaries. ex. It is ok to be upset. It is not ok to put your hands on me. It is ok to get frustrated it is not ok to call me stupid and other names.
You got this sis!!